MENTALK WEEKEND. 'My perspective on Male Pleasure'

My perspective on Male (sexual) Pleasure

  • Allow yourself to be led. Sex can be an incredible game, but as with any game trying out each role is key to finding your strengths and weaknesses. Society has, in my view, led men to believe we can only play a particular role, ironically preventing us from experiencing our sexuality fully. However, there is much pleasure in taking the backseat and allowing things to happen to you and around you. I’ve found that there is nothing like going an  erogenous scavenger hunt for just the right spot to stimulate your partner. Or seeing them orgasm in front of your very eyes, while you’re their living blow-up doll. Blindfolded experiences are an easy way to begin if you’re game.
  • Stimulate the senses. This is one is a good advice for sex and on how to be a good dinner-party host. Light, sound, smell, taste and touch can have erotic effects. I’m not saying you should learn how to cook, although it does help, but incorporate fruits, chocolate, or wine to your experience. Set the mood for you and your partner with candles or dim lighting. Sound in general has a powerful erotic effect, but if slow jazz or Barry White are not for you, try other music and sounds. I encourage you to use your male voice, as it has an entire spectrum of pitches and tones which are highly effective. It will take time, planning and practice until you master combining each of these elements but in the end, not stimulating each of the senses is a wasted opportunity for a whole body orgasm.
  • Practice makes perfect but not trying is a definite failure. This one is very straight forward. Take the time to try new things, explore your G-spot (trust me you’ve got one), test various lubes and try them out. Although pleasure is more straight forward for men, this does not mean it cannot be taken to another level. Furthermore, I would encourage to experience pleasure from your partner. There is nothing more pleasurable than feeling your partner orgasm pressed up against your chest.
  • Listen and feel for queues. From my personal experience, sex begins before you are actually in the bedroom with your partner. Listening not only allows for you to get to know them, but also to comfort them in this moment of vulnerability. In this particular experience the person in question and I were terrible in our first sexual encounters. As the relationship grew stronger and we began talking about our satisfaction from sex, I found out they had body-insecurities. Working through these insecurities, reassuring them in and out of the bedroom, and much talking led to a more fulfilling sexual experience for them and as a result, for me as well. 
  • Final thoughts. Each experience will be unique, as will every partner and encounter. Hence, this is a process to try and test with each and every experience. Respect your partners, listen to them and be thoughtful of their pleasure. 

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