ODE TO A SHMUCK. Written and pictures by Bush Baby.

ODE TO A SCHMUCKYou KNEW I'd never been touched like that,and what kind of a song choice afterwards -Were you trying to be impressive??Well CONGRATULATIONS, I would have been impressed by James BluntIf he'd paid as much attention to my cunt.Meanwhile I'm loving these b-list bond villain ultimatums:I cana) meet you for a drinkOr I canb) fuck off?………??????…….?????!!!!!??!!ANYWAYdon't fret -You'll always be my firstSchmuck.

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